To Face One's Fear [Speckle]

[Hopey]

Everyone in RiverClan knew about Minnowpaw's phobia. Ever since she had witnessed her old and failing mother drown, she had been terrified to go anywhere near it. She knew that it was absolutely stupid to be afraid of it - she was a RiverClanner, she was suppose to be able to swim well. Her Clan depended on it for everything; food, water, life. Who had ever heard of a RiverClan cat who couldn't swim? She firmly believed (whether it was true or not) that she was the laughingstock of the Clan, and if the other Clans knew her fear, they would laugh at her too. She was thoroughly ashamed of herself. Everyone else learned how to swim and fish with ease, as if it was in their blood. That same blood ran through her veins too, being of pure RiverClan descend. There really was no excuse.

So that is what led the snowy white female to slip out of the camp at sunhigh to brave the evil water. Minnowpaw had done her duties for the day - gone out with the dawn patrol and even managed to catch a rare finch while she was out, so she didn't see anything wrong with it. But she didn't exactly tell anyone where she was going, either. But she preferred to fail on her own, where other cats couldn't see her. She did have some pride, after all. And, believe me, fail she did.

By a little after sunhigh, the little apprentice was soaked to the bone, puffed out like an angry squirrel, and definitely not happy. Her mismatched eyes glittered in anger as she scowled down at the clear, cold water. She had been attempting to get a fish this whole time, and had fallen face first every time. Minnowpaw was pretty sure it was the same fish every time, too, coming back to taunt her. Gold and blue eye glittering in the water's reflection, she sat down on the bank. "I give up. There is no way I'm ever going to be able to catch another fish."

[/color] she grumbled to herself, trying to smooth down her fluffy fur.[/blockquote]

[SPECKLE]

m a s k p a w

Maskpaw was walking, to where, he was unsure. His thoughts were distracting, bringing back his thoughts of a she-cat he had met in camp a little while ago, the faintest of smiles touching his face and playing along his eyes as he did so. That was his biggest problem, he was such a strange cat, able to fall in love with any she-cat and flirt with them until the sun came up. But he could never hold onto that love and would eventually move onto another. But as of now, his thoughts were tied around a she-cat where she was dancing and flitting in his head like a little bird in a cage. He smirked. But the sound of splashing in the river finally caused him to withdraw his thoughts and he scanned the riverbank until he saw the soaked creature that was sitting on the river bank and he found himself slowing to a halt. He cleared his throat, looking at the soft white creature that was puffed up in anger and frustration and a faint smile played at the edge of his lips. The tom approached in silence and when he did speak, it was with kindness.

Are you okay? He asked softly, glancing slowly at the river and then back at her. You must be freezing, the water isn't quite warm enough to be swimming in yet. But it wasn't until he was moving closer to the she-cat that he realized who it was, and the feeling of compassion turned into concern. Oh my goodness, Minnowpaw, are you all right? It was true, the whole clan knew about her phobia. Even him, the big hulking bloke that was nothing more than an idiot, knew about her phobia. And he realized now how uncaring he had sounded. He took on a nurturing side, a side he often hide from other cat's, but Minnowpaw probably needed it. She probably needed him to give her some sort of compassion because it seemed like everyone thought that she couldn't swim and couldn't hunt was going to bring down the clan and made her a monstrosity. Maskpaw didn't see it that way at all. The uniquely colored tom slowly moved closer to her still and gently pressed himself against her, offering the warmth of his pelt and he offered her a soft smile.

I'm sorry, Minnowpaw. Is there anything I can do? He asked softly. He was such an idiot, such a nincompoop. He hated the way he worked and the way he looked at himself. Why am I such an idiot! I could hurt her so badly. He said softly curled his tail around her haunches in a kind and soft way, pulling her dripping wet body closer to his and he licked her shoulder gently, licking it backwards gently to dry it. If this is awkward, I'm sorry, I just... I didn't think you would be okay... well I didn't think you would be at this place... especially dripping wet. He said softly. He felt bad for any awkwardness he was causing and slowly pulled himself away and suddenly his thoughts were directed back to his insulting thoughts. Why can't I do anything right?

[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Hopey]

It really was terrible. Minnowpaw was in a bad mood.

It wasn't something that happened very much, to be honest. Though one could use a number of descriptors for the young cat - stubborn, quiet, secretive - bad tempered was not one of them. No, that was her brother Stonepaw's job. She wasn't bad tempered. Minnowpaw was one of those quiet cats that sat in the corner and watched everyone, not the type of cat who stormed into the camp like she was currently doing; shooting glares that could probably keel over any ShadowClan cat she came in contact with. It was most uncommon, and it was no wonder that most cats who saw her gave the white she-cat a wide berth.

But today was different. Most of the time, Minnow paw really didn't mind her phobia. She didn't particularly enjoy it - why would anyone? She wanted to be like anyone else, like her brothers, like her Clanmates. The fact that she was weakened by this defect was terrible, and she hated it. But it was days like this where she wanted nothing more to go hide in a hole somewhere. That fish had been right in her grasp, and then she had missed it. Minnowpaw had fallen face first into the river. She was furious with herself. There was no reason to fear water, she was a RiverClan cat! She should be like an otter, not acting like a ShadowClan kit that had wandered here by mistake. She sat there, fuming, not noticing Maskpaw until he spoke. The mismatched eyed she-cat glanced up at him, jumping slightly, fur fluffing out. When she realized it was just one of her Clanmates she calmed down, though she was still obviously upset with herself.

”I’m okay, only my ego is bruised, thank you very much, I don’t need your help.”

[/color] She informed Maskpaw shortly, not actually angry with Maskpaw, at him. She realized she sounded like a squawking old queen and sighed. ”Sorry, Maskpaw, that was mean of me. I’m just upset. That fish was right there and I missed it! That’s twice!”[/color] She burst out, digging her claws into the bank of the river. He leaned up against her, loaning him her warmth, and she sighed, looking at him. He really was a sweetheart, for doing this. Most people would just leave her to fume, and she appreciated him being there. He licked her fur, drying her off, and the fluffy white she-cat relaxed. Freaking out wasn’t going to help anything, though she wished she could do something.

”Thanks, Maskpaw.”[/color] Blue and gold eye looked at the tom, leaning over to lick his cheek fondly. The cat was a flirt, but he was a nice cat. At least, Minnowpaw thought so. She shook her head. ”You can’t do anything unless you know how to cure phobias. I’m the worst excuse for a RiverClan cat ever.”[/color] Minnowpaw said glumly, tail curling around her paws with a little sigh, looking down at the water again.[/blockquote]

[SPECKLE]

m a s k p a w

The tom mused over her situation, hoping that she would not get hurt by something as simple as a fear. He flicked his tail and wrapped it around her haunches gently, nudging her shoulder lightly with his nose and looked over her soft white fur. He licked her fur again and offered her a soft smile, attempting to get her to smile too. Maskpaw wasn't a cruel cat, he cared very much for the cats of his clan and he often wanted to do whatever he could to help them. But when she spoke about how he couldn't do anything if he couldn't cure a phobia, he offered the faintest of smiles. Slowly the tom rested his tail around her again and smiled. Well, I don't know. I can try at the very least. After all, phobias aren't to be cured alone. He said with a faint smile and slowly he pushed himself to his paws. He looked down at the fish, glad that this was the target she was having trouble with, because with his massive size, he had actually been asked to refrain from hunting the ground prey, because he always scared them all away.

But he moved closer to the river, gently looking back at her with a small smile. Minnowpaw was such a pretty creature, and she hardly knew it. She was always so bent around the fact that you weren't a RiverClanner if you couldn't hunt from the river or if you couldn't swim. He thought it was silly. His own sister, Pansypaw had never set foot by this river, not since their brother, Whitekit had died. She refused to come anywhere near this place, Minnowpaw was doing much better. With a faint smile, he urged her to join him by the river bank, being gentle about it, not wanting to have her become scared or to get too close before she was ready. If you'll let me, I would love to help you. He said softly, the smile again tugging at his eyes as he smirked. Minnowpaw wasn't a bad cat, just misunderstood. They all had their fears in life, and he himself had a great fear of spiders. The way Maskpaw looked at it, was when you signed up for this, you signed on for the good and the bad, and there was no other way to look at it.

Maskpaw smiled again and slowly lowered himself into a sitting position, his tail flicking behind him as he hunched himself over the water, waiting there as still as a statue. The silver fish had disappeared as he moved closer, but as he waited they came back, almost as if they had completely forgotten he was there. Suddenly, his paw darted into the water, gathering one of the slippery creatures and flicking it with ease out of the water. He placed his large paws on it and held the thrashing creature until it had finally stopped thrashing and gave Minnowpaw the biggest smile of all. I can teach you. How to fish. Seeing as I can't be quiet enough to hunt the ground prey, I have a lot of free time from my mentor. He said with a nod that seemed to read that it was true.

[Hopey]

It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried before. Honestly, she had. All RiverClan cats had to pass a swimming test. She didn’t mind getting her paws wet, or anything like that. But as soon as it went anywhere near her head, she panicked.. The white apprenticer hated knowing that she didn’t deserve to be a warrior. That she was lacking in an area. What if something bad happened? What if RiverClan needed her to do something, and she couldn’t because she was too paralyzed with fear to do anything? That thought tore into her, which was why she forced herself to come out her almost daily. It was just; she couldn’t get her mother’s face out of her head. She had only been a young kit when she witnessed her old and ailing mother drown, too weak to fight the currents. No matter how many cats assured her that wouldn’t happen to her, it didn’t matter. Minnowpaw just didn’t believe it. Which really sucked, and she thought was mouse-brained. But unfortunately, she couldn’t force herself to believe in something. It just didn’t that work that way, no matter how much she wanted it to.

The white she-cat glared down at the water, which just reflected her different coloured eyes, another source of embarrassment for her. StarClan, you complain a lot. Minnowpaw scolded herself, shaking her head, focusing back on Maskpaw. She smiled faintly at him, glad that someone was here. She wasn’t too happy about the fact that someone had seen her fall into the water, but she’d get over it. Gold and blue eye blinked at Maskpaw, startled. ”You want to help?”

[/color] Minnowpaw echoed. It wasn’t that she was trying to be skeptic or anything like that. She was honestly surprised. She followed the tom to the river, keeping away from the edge. Even going near the river made her nervous. ”I would love help, honestly. I want to be normal, like everyone else!”[/color]

Of course that wasn’t possible. When Minnowpaw had been younger, everyone thought she was going to die. She had been the only kit to an old queen, and Winterbrook hadn’t even thought about having kits. When she was born, it had been the middle of leaf-bare, and everyone knew that kits born during that season rarely ever survived. But Winterbrook was a stubborn old cat, protecting and teaching her daughter. It didn’t matter to her that her daughter was a bit different, with her dual coloured eyes. Most cats with white fur and blue eyes were blind – Minnowpaw counted herself lucky that she only had one blue eye, and that she had her full hearing. Maybe it was because she was so different that she looked out for others. She sighed, pushing the thoughts away, watching with wide eyes at Maskpaw. ”Would you really, Maskpaw?”[/color] The white she-cat asked, eyes lit up with excitement. ”I can help you with land hunting, if you do.”[/color] She offered.[/blockquote]

[SPECKLE]

m a s k p a w

Maskpaw sat beside the river, looking down at the rivers reflection that danced along the bank. While he had indeed lost a family member to this place, so had she and he could relate to it. But he licked her shoulder in a reassuring way and gently flicked his tail against her shoulder. Come here? I promise I won't let you fall in. I'll jump in and save you if you do. There was the faintest flash of a smile on his face, but he was serious. While it could have been mistaken as a joke, Maskpaw would have jumped in after this little she-cat and dragged her out and kept her warm. He would save her, just as he would try to save her from her fears. He wanted to be there for her, maybe not as a lover, but as a friend definitely. He would have done something for her in any way, but now... right now it mattered that she felt safe around him.

He flicked his tail slowly and glanced back down at the waters, his eyes reflecting them with a smokier, softer wisp to them. When she spoke of feeling normal, he looked over at her with a small smile. I can't promise you to feel completely normal because you may never get over your fear, but I would love to try. He said softly, giving her a sweet smile. She mattered to him, because she was his clan mate. But not just that. She was such a poor cat, losing her mother and all and in such an awful way. So with a gentle flick of his tail, he waited until she joined him. He gave her a faint smile. Yes, Minnowpaw, I would love to teach you how to fish. You may even enjoy it by the time we are done. He added with a small chuckle at the end of his sentence and then lowered his gaze back down to the river.

But her proposition caused him to blink slowly before looking back at her. She was probably the best cat to learn from in this clan if he wanted to learn how to hunt on the forest ground. He could hardly walk silently through the silent, let alone sneak through the place. He was just too big, his paws were too big and his large size made him have a lot of trouble staying quiet. The tom had a quiet look on his face before looking down at the river again and then looking at her slowly. You know... I'd love to try. But I don't... I just don't think I can. I don't want to make Shatterstar angry for scaring away all the forest prey. He remembered that conversation, and how bad he felt for scaring it away in the first place. Truthfully he hated it, his size, what he did, and all of that. But he dealt with it, just like he always would deal with it.